Individuality is Over-rated

Disclaimer:  I know (from my parents -- twice) how painful divorce can be.  I'm not here to condescend or unfairly judge anyone who's been through it.  What I am here to do is to figuratively smack idiotic men upside the head with a 2x4.

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Over the last 21 years, I have been in contact with many friends (guys) who say how glad they are that their wives are not the "needy" type (so-called), and oh, how they brag that they can go and do their own thing, without having to include their wives in most of their activities.  They say these things as if to say "Look, MY marriage is healthy, because neither of us has lost our individuality by being married."

You know what?  Most of those guys (if not ALL of them) are no longer married.  They got what they wanted: their individuality.  And yet, here I am, ecstatically married to the very happy wife of my youth; I'm blessed to be the happy father of 6 beautiful, happy, secure children. (That's a lot of "Happy", isn't it?)  Make no mistake, I certainly do not get the credit for my present status -- all credit goes to my Heavenly Father, Whose Word gives clear instructions about how to "do" marriage.

If you want a thing to work, and last, you follow the Designer's instructions... not your own, nor the culture's.

So, if you are one of the aforementioned "individualistic" husbands, BEWARE...

You might just get what you want.

 

"In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."  (Ephesians 5:28)

"You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered."  (1 Peter 3:7)

Moving Forward!

(Our Future Driveway.)

Good day, dear friends and family!  Many apologies for the lapse in time since my last post.  So much has been happening, that I have been admittedly intimidated by how much writing I've needed to do, just to bring you up to speed with what's new with our dreams and goals.  Let me start with a little background...

Since my dear bride and I were married, we have dreamed of having a home in an area full of what we like to call "Wide Open Spaces".  However, in the many years that we lived in Southern California (for a multitude of reasons that could be summed up, in hindsight, as Providence), that dream was never realized.
Then we moved to NW Montana.  And we started to get our bearings.  I found work (I now have employment in Kalispell and Martin City), and our family found encouraging relationships with genuine Christ-followers here, people of all different kinds, with wonderful histories.  During that time, my parents and my Uncle Dave had followed suit in relocating to the Flathead Valley.  After he had purchased 10+ acres of "raw land" just west of Whitefish, Uncle Dave invited us to consider purchasing a portion of his land (given some pretty amazing & unbeatable terms), and to build our future home there, adjacent to the one he was planning to build.  After seeing this beautifully-wooded place and dreaming a lot, we agreed to "partner" with Uncle Dave, who was repeatedly proving to be an instrument of God's grace and provision.

Now, he was waiting for his home in Oregon to sell, before he could "pave the way" in developing that land for use in construction (bringing in an electric line, digging a well, septic, etc) and beginning to build his "mountain house".  So, we waited too.  For over a year.
Then, suddenly, Uncle's house went into escrow!  So, for the last couple of weeks, my Bride and I have been putting our heads together -- and praying a LOT -- over plans to build our home in the woods.  We have staked out the dimensions of what will become our South-facing house...

 

(This is pretty much the exact spot where our home will be built.)

...and have found an amazing local draftsman/engineer/designer who is consulting with us over the continual floor plan revisions and "tweaking" necessary before we build.  He never complains about our barrage of questions and changes; and, he never charges us a penny.  "Who is this guy?", you ask.  Well, we like to call him:
"Uncle Dave".  That's right.

(Uncle Dave, on the left, with us -- visiting an Off-grid friend in Eureka last year.)

And now -- drum roll, please --  Uncle Dave's escrow on his former Oregon home closes tomorrow!  Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!  We are planning to celebrate his "ground-breaking" this Saturday morning.  Of course, our home will probably not begin construction until next Spring, but lots of our prep-work (Septic system, electrical decisions, excavation, etc) will be going on this Summer and into Autumn.

Please continue to pray for us.  Here's what we need prayer for:

• God's divine protection, provision and direction.  (John 15:1-17; Philippians 4:4-13; Proverbs 3:5-6; Psalm 37:4)
• Friends to help us with the labor, when construction begins
• Cooperation from Ric's employers as we work out a harmony of schedules that will accommodate our home-building
• That we will keep Christ at the center of all we do.  (Psalm 24)

Keep this blog bookmarked in your browser, so we can keep you up-to-date on our progress.  May the Lord bless your efforts to serve Him.

--Ric

 

(Clockwise from Left: Chloe, Jenna, Ric, Emily, Caleb, Cassandra and Sophia)

Pennies and Pounds, Part 1

Ecclesiastes 7:16-18 (NASB):

"Do not be excessively righteous and do not be overly wise. Why should you ruin yourself? Do not be excessively wicked and do not be a fool. Why should you die before your time? It is good that you grasp one thing and also not let go of the other; for the one who fears God comes forth with both of them."

I have been meditating on this passage, off and on, for several years now.  Far from perpetuating the "balance" of today's psycho-babble, I believe there some great take-aways here for modern Christ-followers.  I am still formulating how I'd like to address this passage, in a way that is relevant to the greatest number of readers, but here are a few personal applications that I feel represent the heart of what the Word of God is saying through Solomon:

• Go take your pastor out for a beer, but don't get smashed.
• Enjoy the senses God gave you (sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell), but faithfully in accordance to the ways He intended, for His glory.
• When the Bible seems too complicated to wrap your head around, stop and ask the Good Shepherd to help you love someone you don't like (Luke 6:32-36).  That'll keep you busy for a while.
• If some foolish person frustrates you continually, try to imagine how frustrating to God your folly must be... He is a Father, after all, and a Person, with feelings.  Then thank Him that His mercy endures forever, and covers suckers like us.
• Don't worry.  About anything. (Matthew 6:25, Philippians 4:6)

That's all I have for now.  Have a blessed day, friends.

Quote for Today

"I am not a pacifist, because pacifism in this poor world in which we live, this lost world, means that we desert the people who need our greatest help. As an illustration: I see a great big burly man that is beating a little tiny tot to death....If he won't stop, what does love mean? Love means I stop him in any way I can..."
--Francis A. Schaeffer, "Conflicting World Views: Humanism versus Christianity."

You can trade out "burly man" for "federal government", and insert "American citizen" for "tiny tot".  Same implication.